Well I’ve been looking through photo albums and I just think I had a fabulous childhood. Lots and lots of memories in my childhood years. Well my teenage years weren’t as nice, had a lot of things to deal with and I guess tasted more salt than I wanted to taste, and well everyone has regrets, and so do I. Back to reference to my first line…I laughed till I cried at some of the pictures. How people change physically in appearance over the years and at the same time also I felt sad and disappointed with myself, as I haven’t talked to some of my friends for ages and ages. Sigh, when everyone moves on with life, and you’re not in it, well that’s not the nicest thing to find out.
Anyhow I had the bestest of friends growing up, and in many ways they have formed and build me up in character in one way. I stayed up till 2 am yesterday just thinking of all the things that have happened and thinking of my good dear friends. Anyway why the mushy and super-emo feelings ? Well I guess coz I’m moving on to another chapter of my life, and well I’m feeling old and out of shape , imcompetence and well just so tired of everything. ( guess the stress levels in me are reaching a dangerous high …)
I do wonder, what will I be like in a few years time…and what my future holds. On the other hand if I do know what my future holds, I wouldn’t be experiencing ups and downs but instead I’ll probably be trying and fighting all my life to get away from all the bad and negatives. So perhaps not knowing is a good thing 
I’ve reached a point where I have decided I want to reach for my dreams and achieve my goals without having to look to others or cling on to others like a vice.
( This may sound chauvinist but I don’t mean it in that way okay ) Well many around me have begin to ask whether I’m involved romantically with anyone, and even my parents did drop a hint or two, or rather they’re just being parents , and I guess out of curiousity . Well I don’t have anyone, and not thinking of anyone ( or as my friend says, a target ) It’s just come to if there’s anyone suitable then I may think about it, but if not then it’s okay. Basically I don’t hate guys or men, I just don’t see a need to have that kind of relationship now. Having company and friends is nice, but not that kind of company xD.
So what are my reasons ? Well first I want to study first, get into Uni and start my course of choice. Then after that, I may want to work and travel around the world a bit before I settle down and make my mark in the working world. I know I can’t afford to travel all over the world but there are some places that I do want to go to, and having a relationship of that kind may just lead to no where at this point, and so I’m not looking toward it. Of course there were past hurts and lots of things I’ve been through even in terms of just platonic friendsips. So I guess, letting myself heal would be good before jumping in again right ?
So I would like to thank all my friends and people that had been around me for ages, even if now we don’t really meet or hardly talk, I do cherish you all and still think of you all , just sometimes its so hard to know where to start again now. Maybe a simple hi would do…. but I really love you all and am truly grateful for all you’ve given and done for me So here goes the list of names ( well I can’t fit everyone in so here are some, and the rest, thanks super lots !!! )
THANK YOU ….Family, Michelle, Aly, Ai Vee , Jared, Calista, Esther , Mei-Mei jie jie, Vivian, Fharyl, Belinda , Lionel , D.R, K.K , Adi, Wayne, Nancy, Carmille, Szu Li , Lei Ngoh and all the beloved aunties and uncles too !!
( I wanted to upload childhood pics , but sorry guys no scanner la. If I can, I would, and haha I bet some of you will laugh yr pants off 
– invitation to my hse to view photos is opened though …hehehe
