Princess Corner

Have you ever felt like suddenly grabbing your car keys, and heading off to yr favourite stall to buy something you really like ? Then after getting it, you consume it in private, slowly enjoying very mouthful and savouring every mouthful of it ? Well if you don’t drive, then how about when yr taking a nap, then suddenly awaken, and feel a strong intensity inside you to eat peanut butter sandwich……and if you don’t the rest of the nap is totally ruined and so is your mood for the whole day.

Well these often happens to me….Hahaha don’t believe it ? Well you gotta, coz I ain’t lying…Haha I get seriously horrendous cravings at the wrong times, and can be very affected by it. It can be quite bad as to my friends pass remarks like, ” eh…you like pregnant woman only…can’t imagine when you really are, yr ppor husband !! ” Hahhaa Well  I don’t blame them for saying that, coz i do get cravings quite often. SOmetimes even for things I don’t really fancy. SOmetimes I don’t even need to eat it, just need to smell it.

I get cravings for stuff like burgers, fries, doughnuts, mangoes, guavas, vegetable soup, hokkien mee in PJ, fishball , chocolate,fried kuey teow,  iced  blended coffee smoothies, hot chocolate drink…and lots more..Sometimes its scary what I crave for. Hahaha I’m very sensitive to smell, so it may even be walking into a bakery just coz there’s the nice smell of freshly baked bread !!! Hahaha crazy right ??? Exactly !! I know !!! But sometimes I really can’t help it, the craving will get soooooo strong that it affects my daily progress and can even make me have the craziest mood swings, which leaves me pretty upset and grouchy

SO I don’t always feed the craving, sometimes I do, but other times I’ll just let it pass if its not too strong, then other times I’ll get others to go with me, so it can be shared out If not can you imagine my size if I feed those cravings ? And I get them quite often..hehehe ( not that I’m any smaller now..haha )

SO my CRAVING for today is pancakes and a cup of hot chocolate…arrgghh how I wished I lived in Damansara..haha then it’ll be so much nearer…hehe I love the savoury pancakes in Paddington Pancake House, and the hot chocolate is super duper chocolatey…if you don’t like chocolate, try the cappucino…Arrghhh I’m making things worst for myself ….Okay I’m gonna try and get my mind off this craving for a moment….

Bye !!

Dear readers,

I’ve decided to come to terms with certain things, and realized that though how much we try, or how sincere we are, most of the time most things don’t turn out the way we like, people don’t appreciate us, and moreover our actual intention is turned into something its not suppose to be. I really don’t understand how the world works or how people work. I think the world is a wonderful and beautiful place, but its we humans in it, that has turned it into the most ugly thing, filled with lies, deceit, backstabbing, cursing, sin, impure thoughts, and inhumane actions.

It’s tough living in this world today. People that you trust, that are the closest to you, that you can trust yr life with, that you trust understand you, and love you, and whom you think are willing to stand by you, willing to talk it out with you like a grown -up when somethings not right, instead turn around and throw everything rght back in yr face. The saddest part is there’s pretence, lies, and gossip all around. SOmetimes the people around you that are closest to you, are the ones that will break you down to your lowest, and into the core of you. Imagine the heartache, heartbreak, and the deep hurt. It feels as if I’ve taken a knife into my own hands and plunged it into my own chest. Because being hurt or betrayed by others are not so bad, but being done so by people you truly love and care about its like killing me softly, slyly , and its more like a crime of passion.

So what’s the point of this post ? Well this is a post to say that I’m leaving everything behind. I’ve found love, friendship, a truthful, honest, and faithful relationship, that has taught me a lot. I’ve learnt to forgive and just move on, not to dwell or wallow in sorrows, because there is not point in it. Coz as my dearest has said, that most of the time, its the devil that wants to get between us, and try to break us down to our lowest, at the point where we’re reaching a point of breakthrough, or we draw nearer to God. I must say I was at a point of full recovery, but something came about and broke me down again. But thanks to my dear friend, and much needed support, I’m leaving it all behind me now. Moving on to a new start , and new relationships perhaps ??

Anyway hope you guys like the theme And I’m enjoying my holidays, spending time with my beloved brother ( miss him alot as when he works he’s pretty busy ) , my lovely aunt and darling cousin ( hardly get to spend time with them too on usual days ) ….so truly cherish it ….and I’m being BUGGED by my brother !!! Arrgghh that’s the irritating part…haha but its also these times that I actually do MISS !!! when he’s away So I’ll go ” enjoy”  the irritating-ness !!!! Hahahaha I just heard him exclaim loudly in the background,that I love disturbing my sister !!! Hahaha

So long and farewell for now dear readers

Switching channels yesterday, and I came across a reality show, and so happened, they were talking about stage names/ nick names that superstars, actors and singers use, such as Twiggy, Tyra Banks, Giselle Bundchen, Tom Cruise, Vin Diesel and many more. SO I was thinking….

Have you ever had nicknames ? I mean we may not have stage names coz we’re not in the limelight such as they are. On the show, they were saying that with an attrctive an unusual name, you can strike up superb conversations with people just by introducing yourself. So what do you all think ???

Just to get that brain power going, let me share with you my list of nicknames, mind you, almost all my nicknames have a story behind it. And second precaution, I have a lot…and I mean a lot of nicknames !!! haha so here is goes …

Let’s start with the nicer ones first….

Princess…. Tall-lie….Giraffe…Orang utan….Horse…Harry Potter ( not that I’m a fan of his ) ….Giant… Sweetie….Bao Bei…Baby…and Mak Cik

AS you can see…..most of my nicknames or rather all are pretty weird and i dunno how to describe it ….HAaha So would I walk up to maybe a hot guy or someone interesting that I would like to start a conversation with, not knowing how to start it, and end up wanting to start it off with a super fun, strange, attention-grabbing name ? I guess it would sound something like that,

” Hey, I’m Giraffe Princess  … ? ” Hahahahahaa Or ” Hi, I’m Baby Giant ?? ” Hahahaha

Anyhow you go figure on yr own, what a strangely hilarious sight that would be, and I can imagine the look on the receiver’s end !!!! HAHAHAHA !!! Enjoy playing with the names…And maybe share some of yr experiences too in the comment boxes .

As for me , I think I’ll just stick with ” Hey, I’m Sarah !!! ”

Hey people,

Sorry for the long dissappearance…Hmm wonder whether anyone still reads my blog. Anyway whether or not there are readers, I’ll still continue to blog, as its more of a personal blog, where pouring out of heart-felt opinions and point -of views will be on showcase here…Hmm don’t think that came out how I’d like it exactly.

Anyway, I have been placing on my facebook and msn pm, that its a new day, new life, newly renewed ambitions and plans!! FOR starters, I have been exercising and trying to lose weight….Planning to lose ten kg…Haha but don’t think I need to lose that much la…but looking number wise I think that way. Anyway I’m half way through arriving to losing that weight !! Haha I’ve lost some weight just about a month into regular exercise, and believe I will lose much more if I step it up and keep it on a regular basis I’m estatic!! Coz most of the time, I give up before I see resultd\s, and end up doing things the wrong way like dieting…But now I have learnt to eat right and exercise regularly…Thanks to my girlfriends that have shown me how to do it right. SO yeah..that’s a new start for me.

Also I’ve been involved with some very nice people, made new friends, been into new strong and healthy relationships with friends, and in real truth found comfort and love in some. So I’ve started my journey on to the better road, and healing all the old wounds slowly, but surely, and being more positive everyday. I believe everything starts with a step at a time, eventhough it may be small steps.

I truly thank God as well as He knows when I’ve hit rock bottom and is there for me. He lifts me up everytime without fail. Thank You Lord!! ( That’s why I love the song by Paul Baloche – Thank You Lord , very much )

Anyway, I’m taking baby steps to a new way of living life. So hope you people and dear readers will join me in it !!!! Take care ….

Can a person love and hate at the same time ?
It feels like I’m drowning, falling deeper and deeper into a dark pit that will eventually make everything and everyone around me be destroyed. I feel like such a failure.
Will no one hear my heart out, without judging me? but instead lend an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on ?
God , I can’t do this anymore, I’m so so broken, the hole in my heart is a large gaping hole, that’s been torn wider and larger each time, and it burns inside me. When will this stop ?
I have never felt this kind of sorrow,burden,hurt, anger and hatred. Its not something thats right to feel, yet I cannot stop the feeling that’s so apparent in me, and its breaking me to pieces….
i don’t understand .

As I thought everything was just pure fantasy, pure dreams , pure imagination , I get pulled into this whirlpool of emotions again… Is my dream coming true ? Or is it just another round of pulling  and tugging at my heart strings ?

I’m sitting at my desk, engrossed in the book which I feel is stuck to them, as I can’t put it down. The story is so exciting and it pulls me into the story and it seems so real. I’m so into it, that I shut off my surroundings, and am ignorant to whats going on around me. Suddenly I hear a voice which seems familiar yet not exactly yet, calling my name . I slowly lift my eyes from the lines on the page of my book, and see a handsome face smiling at me, and uttering my name. Its not just any handsome face, its him ! My heart skips a few beats and my hands become cold and almost lifeless, my head spins and I feel I’m swirling into another world. Just then, my hands give way, and I dropped my book into my lap. I startled myself, and instantly snapped back to reality.

I look at the handsome face before me. He comments that I looked rather shocked and pale. He introduces himself. ( mind you I already knew a lot about him .) Then he says that he has been watching me and notices my quiet yet visible charms. He continues to flatter me and asks me out. Meanwhile, I am still not in control of my feelings. I sit there dumbfounded and speechless. In the end , I squeeze out a tiny , Yes to his invitation .

This starts off an exciting, new fresh breeze in my life, and I’m floating  on cloud 9 and walking with and air and a twist of lightness in me. I’m thrilled. Over the next few weeks, every hour possibly spent together is not spared between us. Now its not anything intimate yet, just a period of knowing each other. Everytime we talk, I feel like the most special and unique person in this world. I feel he only has eyes for me. My heartbeats are irregular and often pump really hard when I’m around him. My body feels cool and light, as if  I have no other care in the world. My eyes glistened with a touch of moisture and my cheeks turn a little red whenever he throws compliments at me. I’m not used to them, but he showers me with it. He tells me about what he thinks of me, and  I take it in happily and enjoyably at first, but after a while……

He takes it too far. I find he only sees everything as good in me, and there is nothing bad about  me. He describes me as close to a goddess or an angel, he only has words of praise for me. He doesn’t reprimand me, argue with me, or even converse in a more challenging way. Everything is sweet talk. I should have seen it coming. What is his motif ? There is only one motif. Not to be with me forever but…..I will not mention it further. The guy I thought fulfilled my criterias and could make me complete is the total opposite. What is there to a relationship when wrong motifs are apparent, and what more, a guy who only worships you, but doesn’t actually care about you.

This is not a love story unfolding, its the end of one before it even unfolds. How I wished I didn’t fall for the trap. How I wish I didn’t even think about him. Now its so hard to get out of my head and my heart. I’m angry with myself. Don’t ever let yourself fall for the talks and sometimes even actions of guys , without properly thinking. Don’t let yr heart or emotions control you, because that is when everything slips out of control. Eventhough sometimes they may seem genuine, but they are not.

Goodbye to love, and the end to the story.

I walk along the corridor, its raining heavily , the sky is a deep grey black colour, the clouds look heavy and it seems like it’ll rain forever. What more, it makes my mood turn gloomy and blue…..I let out a loud sigh.

In a flash, everything changes and everything seems to brighten up. Its as if the sun started shining and there’s birds chirping and soft, gentle breeze blowing. Is it a change of weather in a blink of an eye ? Well no, its simply because my wandering eye has caught a gaze on someone whom I’m hoping to meet since the other day…..

I see him taking a turn round the corner, heading right my way. A quick check of my reflection in the window , and I see a plain , simple girl looking right back at me. I decide to stay where I am, knowing that I don’t have what it takes to catch his attention. However , I steal a long gaze at him from the corner of my eyes, and….

I watch him approaching, the distance between us seems to be getting inch by inch , closer and closer. My heart is pounding with nervousness, it beats so hard that I feel like its going to break out from my chest. My breathing becomes quick and rapid, it seems like the air is thinning, my whole body becomes cold, and I feel faint. He comes so close and pass me by an inch of width distance . He doesn’t even look at me. I was like a pillar, like a statue placed in his path. I was ignored. My hopes were crushed, I was crushed….

The heart that was pounding so hard, slow instantly into a dying pulse -like rate. My breathing becomes slow like that of a dying person,my whole body heats up instantly and I feel my cheeks flush with embarassment, as blood rises to my cheeks. How could I have drawn so much hope in something so vague and unpromising ? Why did I even hope for the impossible ? Tears rise to my eyes like a flood, and pour down my cheeks. Hot burning tears wash down my cheeks. I make no attempt to stop them, but instead let them flow to their hearts content.

How could I have even filled my thoughts with such hope and dreams, when I’m not even close to anything in reality ? …….

(to be cont. )

Does it have to be 20 things ?? haha well I’ll be random okay…hahahhaa well here it goes:
1. I have to take a bath every morning. If I don’t I feel terrible the whole day.
2. The least times I bathe in a day is two to three times.
3. I like shoes a lot.
4. I like fish and rabbits.
5. My favourite plush toy is Piglet from Winnie the Pooh.
6. I strongly dislike being given flowers. I however love to admire flowers growing naturally and in the wild. I think thats where flowers should be and not in bouquetsin flower shops.
7. I enjoy admiring cars and and superbikes though I may get the models mixed up sometimes.
8. I don’t know how to fix my computer when somethings wrong with it.
9. I don’t like being photographed. Though I like to look at photographs and think that photography is really a work of art, and work of the heart.
10. My hair is off limits to most people. Haha only permited people are allowed to touch it.
11. I cannot imagine using other people’s pillow case. I even bring my own one when I go to a hotel ! ( do you think I’m obsessed with cleanliness ? ) haha
12. I can survive without my phone
13. I enjoy food and like experimenting new recipes, though I’ll only try it for myself to taste …erm go figure.
14. I prefer baking to cooking
15. Clothes in my cupboard are arranged in a certain way and pattern.
16. I used to wish I would be either a doctor or a professional ballerina when I grew up …. oh the irony !!! Haha
17. I’m quite cheeky in class. Give my teachers a hard time with lots of questions and well plain cheekiness. But ironically, I’m the teacher’s pet, or the example student haha
18. I have been having nightmares, that I get into car accidents or drive till I have no more petrol left, and get stranded some place, ever since I got my licence.
19. I get nervous very easily , and most of the time I can’t sleep the night before a major exam or a big event.
20. I also get stage fright and freeze on stage/ in front of a crowd of people. My hands and legs literally shake and my whole body turns cold.

Wow!! That was hard and definitely random !! Haha so now you guys think I’m weird ? hehe